I should just keep up better

[familyvalues]

owenP1040594, a photo by marymactavish on Flickr.

I do much better if I keep up with things.

Owen has turned one and become a toddler-not-a-baby. I want to update this blog but I'm sort of stuck on where to start other than that he's strong and smart and cute and nice.

So I'll toss out "ask me anything", though I might break the answers into more than one post.

Please ask me anything you're remotely curious about (here, there, via email, etc.) with regard to Owen and his personality, development, our relationships with him; our relationships as a family with each other and the rest of the world; polyamory; whatever else. I'll use them, with gratitude, as a launch pad.

Comments

[ruthflagg]

I feel sad that I haven't met Owen yet. I LOVE to watch children explore, listen and learn. If I were to sit down and observe Owen for the first time, what would I see?
For example, Aiden was shy, but because I gave him attention, he began to use me as a jungle gym. I loved that, but it eventually became painful, and he wouldn't stop until scolded.
This weekend the sweetest little girl, who was painfully shy, walked around the pool, never making eye contact, but absorbing all the positive comments, from the crafters, like a sponge.
The 9 year old, home schooled neighbor girl is starved for contact with the public, and is bold beyond what is safe. I love her and chat for hours with her, but I worry.
Some boys like to ride everything, some like to dismember everything, some like to taste first, some like to watch from Mom's arms, some are attached to an object like a blanket or car.
Who is Owen so far?

[familyvalues]

You have met Owen. :)

I'm making a list of questions.

[(Anonymous)]

He was still in larval stage, dependent on everything, I didn't get to know him like I would now with him making decisions. It one of the reasons I don't have children, babies don't do it for me. :)
I feel like I'm burying myself here.
He's developed into a communicating, mobile device, I can handle it now. <3

[wordweaverlynn]

They grow up so fast -- the change from baby to toddler seems especially sudden.

I just saw metaphortunate and her Junebug yesterday. He's 10.5 months old, and he was wearing a beatonna T-Shirt that said, "Shut up about babies." Definitely not a baby anymore.

[metaphortunate]

He's totally a baby! He's just, you know. A BIG baby. :)

[tiger_spot]

As I recall, you were a little concerned about how to correct assumptions about your family structure before Owen was born -- has that actually come up much? Are you pretty much happy to let people assume whatever they're assuming as long as they haven't got anything actively wrong (e.g. if you're out with the baby and one other parent, as long as both adults present are recognized as parents you don't feel the need to mention the other one) or do you prefer to clarify early even when it's a bit of a detour from the conversation at hand?

[(Anonymous)]

A lot of folks I know who keep baby/kidblogs just do a monthly update, with a roundup of new developments and funny moments they take notes on throughout the month. I'm trying to do that, now, after a long lapse.

(Beth/anthologie)

[(Anonymous)]

Hi, longtime lurker here. I'm also polyamorous although I don't have any kids.

I hope these questions aren't too personal. You said we could ask anything, though, so I'll give it a shot. (Although I'll understand if you don't' want to answer the first one. :) )

Are there any plans to give Owen a little brother or sister?

What has been the most surprising thing about parenthood so far?

Sometimes in two-parent families babies will often switch between preferring one parent and preferring the other. Has Owen had stages when he strongly prefers one of you?

[metaphortunate]

What's a typical day like? What's a typical week like? I often think about Owen and what his life is like compared to what the Junebug's life is like and will be like as a toddler, because they live in such different places.

[0jack]

Favourite toys? Books? Songs? Things you'd like him to have down the road? Developmental updates are very welcome. I would be happy with a weekly "*photo* This is Owen, how cute is he? Also, he's still nice." post, even if that were the only content. Also, more Fritzy! I am a big Fritzy fan.

[platypus]

Do you and Audrey have different "Mom" names? I think you said earlier that you'd let that evolve naturally, but has it?

I'd also be curious about how your parenting role is different from how you planned or imagined it would be.

[tiger_spot]

I would like to second this question, because my mother wants to know what we should all be called in reference to my impending baby and we are not quite sure yet because we don't know what's going to be easily distinguishable in practice (or whether context will take care of it and "easily distinguishable" is unnecessary). I'm not all that fussed about it, but not having clear instructions seems to be stressing her out.

Seconded.

[https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawk1DZd18A7NnsTzSbY_5QNZR6dfDKCniqY]

-Robin

[(Anonymous)]

In a post a long time ago I think I recalled you writing that they plan was for you to legally adopt Owen. Can you talk about that process? Did it work out that way for your family?

Yes, please.

[https://www.google.com/accounts/o8/id?id=AItOawk1DZd18A7NnsTzSbY_5QNZR6dfDKCniqY]

We haven't come up with a sane legal structure for what happens to the babies in RA and I get hit by a bus, so if you've done investigation here, we'd be very interested.

-Robin

Re: Yes, please.

[familyvalues]

We just set up an appointment for that. We'll let you know how it went (and who to see, if you want to) after that.