familyvalues

Christine's surgery plus work prep for the in-person meeting at the end of the month has sent me into a withdrawal from everything else. The surgery turned out well and her recovery state is far better than the general recovery for the type surgery she had.

The lack of proactive communication before and after the surgery is the most frustrating because it seems so resolvable. I understand uncertainty, i don't understand crap communication. Anyhow, my poking at possibilities on the internet and finding general surgery recovery instructions helped us (over) prepare for after care. I recognize that is my own soothing action:over prepare. Like i took EVERYTHING to the hospital and ended up just reading on my phone (but i did eat my healthy sandwich). Management for her recovery catheter - antiseptics, antibiotics, gentle soaps and various other cleaning things listed in keeping up catheters -- did get used for a few days. In general, she seems to be recovering more quickly than i did from my nose surgery.

--== ∞ ==--

I am heading to Ohio at the end of the month and spent week one working full out on getting clarity on complexities that were being ignored by product in writing stories that the engineering staff knew too little to question, then coming up with alternatives, and documenting the complexities.

This week was trying to come up with ways to communicate the complexities of the new product product wants to build and how that overlaps with the engineering executive director goal. I think i have come up with a simple place to start which can create a common cognitive grounding from the executive directors to engineers, and on which i can add the complexities in an iterative fashion. Next week is a short work week, so ... eek. Four workdays to the next meeting.

--== ∞ ==--

In Bruno news, i convinced Christine we should buy a "cat gate" -- two clear plastic doors that we can tension mount against ceiling and floor to partition Marlowe and Carrie from Bruno, while allowing more visibility, scent, and air exchange. My biggest worry was that if Christine was overwhelmed while i was away, i could at least ease her worry about Bruno being isolated. Christine bought in when it was clear it was a way we could have Marlowe and Bruno more exposed to each other in a controlled way.

It arrived yesterday morning, and we set it up during lunch. Bruno has pretty much stuck to his safe places since. He's clearly learned over the past months the open physical door means Marlowe or Carrie can show up. Unlearning that will take a while, although maybe not weeks. Marlowe has tried hard to break in, comically. I'm pretty confident it's secure against her. It's probably not secure against a medium sized animal intent on breaking through: i think if Carrie threw her body weight against it repeatedly she could dislodge the tension supports. Fortunately Carrie is a Good Girl and accepted there is a barrier.

--== ∞ ==--

Meanwhile, ( weight stuff, to be referred to as cabbage )

redbird

In no particular order:

*Last night, I talked with cattitude and adrian_turtle about possible text for my mother's gravestone. I emailed this to my brother today, with a note that these were what I was thinking of.

*I went to TJ Maxx to look for slippers. Disappointingly, there were none that came close to fitting: the ones that might have been in my size were all significantly too tight across the top of my foot. I was wearing thin socks (specifically, lightweight compression socks). It continues to be annoying that not buying slippers (for example) is as tiring as buying some.

*Also, my hips started hurting while I was in the store, so I decided not to look for other things, but headed home with only a quick stop at CVS, and not a grocery store.

*Today was definitely a good day to be outside; yesterday wasn't particularly, and tomorrow is likely to be a lot colder than today (with an afternoon high a little below freezing, so not horrible for January in Boston).

*I got email today from state senator Pat Jehlen, about a bill to ban the use of masks by law enforcement. This is noteworthy because I haven't lived in her district since 2019, and didn't think I was still on her mailing list.

*The skin on my fingertips, and on the rest of my hands, is doing a lot better. I will need to remember to keep applying the serious lotion, so it doesn't start splitting again. However, my shoulder is bothering me, which may be from doing a lot of mousing when I was avoiding using the keyboard.

redbird

As is sometimes the case, I only heard about Christie and his part in the anti-apartheid fight after he died.

Renfrew Christie was a white South African scientist and member of the paramilitary wing of the African National Congress. He went to Oxford University and studied South Africa's history of electrification "so I could get into the electricity supply commission’s library and archives, and work out how much electricity they were using to enrich uranium," he told the BBC. That in turn let them figure out how much enriched uranium South Africa had, and many bombs it could build.

When he returned to South Africa, he was arrested and, after 48 hours of torture, wrote a forced confession, which he told the BBC was the best thing he ever wrote

noting that he had made sure the confession included “all my recommendations to the African National Congress” about the best way to sabotage Koeberg and other facilities.

“And, gloriously, the judge read it out in court,” Dr. Christie added. “So my recommendations went from the judge’s mouth” straight to the A.N.C.

Christie died of pneumonia last month, at the age of 76.

I'm linking to

siderea's post, which includes the text of the (paywalled) NY Times obituary.

kayre

I've always loved light through colored glass, including tea lights in colored votives. But I don't light candles very often-- the small effort, the smoke, the small danger of candles around cats, etc. And I don't like the little electric votives because they're generally disposable.

A few weeks ago a little (tea?) light went off in my head-- and I searched, and found rechargeable electric tea lights, and ordered a set. I'm in love! I can adjust the light level and flicker speed, so while it doesn't quite look like actual flame, it's close. I can set up a timer, so I have one in the dining room set to light for 4 hours every night. There's also a remote, so I control the one in my sitting room day by day. I'm rotating through my little collection of votives, and finding the little lights amazingly soothing.

redbird

I thought that all the money had been transferred from my mother's IRA account at BNY to my account at Fidelity at the end of December.

Last week, I got a message from Fidelity saying that a transfer couldn't be completed, and BNY needed to talk to me. That message was _exactly_ the same as the one I got in November, so I wasn't even sure this was a real thing rather than a glitch.

After several days of wrestling with phone trees and leaving messages with my advisor at Fidelity, I tried BNY again this afternoon. That wound up being a long phone call, including a long time on hold while the person I was talking to looked things up.

What he was able to tell me is that there is some amount of money greater than zero still in my mother's name at BNY, possibly capital gains on the money they had already transferred. The person I was talking to said he couldn't tell me how much, but that based on this call, I could have Fidelity call BNY and tell them to transfer this money.

But that would be too simple: Fidelity said they would need a current statement on the account. So, back to BNY, whose system is set up to provide information to people with accounts they can log into. The available workaround is for them to send me a request form, and for me to attach a copy of my mother's death certificate, and my driver's license, and then I should have it in 1-5 business days.

In the meantime, I have emailed my brother, who told me that any amount of money still in Mom's name in 2026 would complicate things for him as executor. (I was pleased to be able to email him on December 30 and tell him that the transfer had finally been completed.)

redbird

I have just been pleasantly surprised by a health insurance company: they aren't requiring "prior authorization" for my Kesimpta prescription. The person I spoke to this afternoon checked whether I had any of the drug left (no), and whether I'd missed a dose, before arranging delivery for Thursday morning. This is the drug whose copay will meet the 2026 out-of-pocket maximum. Yes, I selected a plan in large part based on the prescription drug coverage.

redbird

We went to the Boston anti-ICE demonstration today, one of many throughout the United States. Cattitude and I got there slightly after the nominal starting time, and managed about an hour before the cold got to me. Yes, it was above freezing and not windy, but standing still on a large open plaza is chillier than moving around. Adrian came to the demo with some of her comrades from Havurat Shalom, and arrived before we did. The crowd was large enough that we didn't try to find her until we were all preparing to leave.

It was a good-sized crowd, but the acoustics and sound system were abysmal; I could only make out a few scraps of what the speakers were saying.

I wore a winter coat, wool socks, and light-weight long underwear, which was too warm while we were on the trolley.

redbird

The new insurance requires me to use a different specialty pharmacy for the Kesimpta. I asked for a new prescription last night via MyChart, and just had a productive conversation with the pharmacy (Optum):

they asked whether I'd been off Kesimpta, because what they can see is that they were sending it to me in 2024, and not last year, so I explained that
we went over my list of medications, which was missing at least one thing, and had one I'm no longer taking
the doctor wrote the prescription for a 90-day supply, and the insurance will only cover a month of this at a time
the doctor sent them a prescription for the initial 'loading" dose, and they need to go back to the neurologist and clarify that

However, so far this has been remarkably efficient: less than 24 hours from me messaging the doctor, to me talking to the pharmacy. Whether the insurance company will cause delays by demanding "prior authorization," I don't know.

redbird

We just went to a small, and surprising brief, vigil on the Common in memory of Renee Good 'and other victims of ICE," organized by MIRA, a local immigrants rights and support group. I'm glad I went, and some good things were said. There will I believe be a larger event tomorrow, but when I can show up for short-notice things on weekday afternoons, sometimes that feels like my job.

redbird

I gave Capsule my new insurance information, and then had them deliver a prescription.

I will need/use the inhaler, but this is also confirmation that yes, I (still) have prescription drug coverage.

Other than that, not a great day. Fingertips are improving, but I had a sudden nosebleed while sitting quietly on the couch an hour ago. *sigh*

elainegrey

Disclaimer: my new year for goals and growth and change starts at the beginning of March because, ugh, darkness.

But happy new year! (Again) Because this is the first day back to work and so on, the year feels restarted even more today.

I celebrate that using strong ("Super-potent Ultra-high") steroids and antibiotics have brought great relief. I am cautiously optimistic, although i look forward to seeing the relief persist in the summer and in the midst of work stress.

I celebrate an insight from therapy that i may be bringing the sense of last year -- emergency on emergency -- to this year with C's upcoming surgery and the trip to Ohio. Instead of interpreting the energy of my colleagues as urgent critical -- thus emergency -- energy, i might try to interpret it as excitement enthusiasm.

Christine and i took a slightly delayed junket to Raleigh for a little more anniversary observation. The Gregg Museum of Art + Design had some powerful exhibits. The "In Search of Thoreau’s Flowers" wasn't as cool as i had hoped, but the cyanotypes on glass with gold gilding -- https://www.leahsobsey.com/thoreaus-flowers -- by Leah Sobsey were wonderful, as were also all the insects and pines that graced the entrance. I suspect my botanical interests wanted more; Christine thought it was great.

I hadn't expected ‘the halls of a changing sea’ and WORDS = POWER to be as moving as they were. WORDS = POWER was probably moving more in a meta-impression: queer and trans focused works up in a state (affiliated) institution stirred hope. ‘the halls of a changing sea’ also was a strong meta resonance with strong connections to plants and soil as well as queer identity. I look forward to experimenting with the soil of this place in my own way. Currently, what i want to do is carve a large chunk of the saprolite, rock so chemically weathered it is almost clay, soft and cuttable, yet still distinctly not clay. I want to set it on a raw log plinth and photography it regularly as it dissolves in the weather.

The museum had not existed when i was at State, but i had helped raise funds for it (as an undergraduate participant in the visual arts committee of the student activities program). As an undergraduate employee i did data entry, with the Avon perfume bottle collection most memorable. They still have them: http://searchgreggcollection.arts.ncsu.edu/mDetail.aspx?rID=1983.004.127a-b&db=objects&dir=GALLERYOFART&osearch=avon&list=res&rname=&rimage=&page=1

We also stopped at the used book store and exchanged a box of books we'd been hauling around, and then went to Krispy Kreme, which no longer has the diner-like counter, which i will always remember due to a poem someone wrote about meeting their best friend Jim Beam at the counter, and the professor Not Getting It. Much memory, very fun.

From oursin:

Grab the nearest book. Turn to page 126 The 6th full sentence is your life in 2026.

Phenology, Theresa M Crimmins "You can do this at your home by tracking daily temperatures and calculating accumulated growing degree days..."

Nifty!

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
					1	2
3	4	5	6	7	8	9
10	11	12	13	14	15	16
17	18	19	20	21	22	23
24	25	26	27	28	29	30
31

(morning writing, work, us, cats, health, cabbage)

six things make a post

In memoriam: Renfrew Christie, who sabotaged South Africa's nuclear weapons program

small pleasures

inherited IRA, part too many

Kesimpta prescription

anti-ICE demonstration this afternoon

kesimpta

a small vigil

new year, new insurance

(meme, health, work, us, observe)

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May 2015

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