mom^2

[familyvalues]

IMG_9325.jpg, a photo by ljellis on Flickr.

Ages ago, someone asked me (here? elsewhere?) what we were doing about Mother-naming, and now that Owen's been asleep for 45 minutes, I probably have a handful of minutes left to discuss it.

We haven't decided.

Or rather, we aren't worrying about it. We tend to refer to each other as either Mama or Mommy, and Casey refers to each of us similarly. It's sort of like how kids might have two grandparents they call "Grandma." If they ever need to get specific, they can narrow it down with another name, but "Grandma" is a good enough label. When I was young, we had a lot of loved ones, oddly enough, named "Barbara" -- my sister, my godmother, the woman across the street who babysat me. We added a last name to the ones who weren't my sister, when necessary.

Owen will know the difference, we're just not worried. This one will be fine.

Over the past two days, I used my phone to record a couple of really cute videos to show his gorgeous, deep chortle when he's feeling giggly and silly, and just discovered that I've been recording without sound. I'm not sure why, I'll have to explore, but POO. It's such a lovely laugh, I wanted to show you. I recently misplaced/lost my purse, which had my camera in it, great sadness. I go through about one camera a year, because they either break or in this case, I lose them. I feel like an irresponsible child about it, and I resist getting myself a new one, but I probably will try before Christmas anyhow, because Christmas and all, and Owen being 9 months then, and shiny lights and adorable happy baby and all that.

(Lisa Ellis took this photo last May. Wow, has he grown.)

Comments

[jpallan]

My children come from a sort-of conventional household. (To what degree three adults in one household and two adults in another can be considered conventional.) We let all the adults choose their own titles, and the children choose what to call them. I go by "Mom" or "Mama" because I always have. K. goes by "Aunt" because she feels too young to be called "Mom". Their stepmother is even younger and wants to go by her first name. The elder daughter calls her stepfather C. but her younger sister calls him Dad, as well as both of them calling their birth father that.

Before I adopted my elder daughter, she was in the habit of calling me "Mama" and her mother "Mama S." I've always described family as a wiki — you fit in parts as you need them.

[familyvalues]

Similarly, I grew up calling *no one* "aunt" or "uncle," it just wasn't a word in our family. My mother's twin sister and brother-in-law, the only ones who'd get that name biologically, we called by their first names. But now, our close family-of-choice people are sort of naturally becoming "uncle" and "aunt" or "auntie," and some of my siblings I am not close enough to give that nym to. Indeed, they don't all know Owen exists, we don't communicate often enough to have gotten that far. I'm not hiding it, it's just that people that close to us, and people biologically related to us, aren't automatically the same, anymore.

[saoba]

Re the multiple Barbara's- our Nashville social group at one point had SEVEN Mikes.

Conversations tended to default to my Mike, your Mike and/or so-and-so's Mike. Oh, and New Mike, who longed for a cooler call name and was disgruntled when we told him he was New Mike until he brought us a Newer Mike.

As for what you guys use- it'll sort itself.

your son will certainly sort it out.

[(Anonymous)]

he knows who he is asking for. my youngest grandson calls for "mommy' when looking for daddy. He knows who he's asking for. he hasn't figured out that its daddy, not mommy yet.

[(Anonymous)]

It's just David and I in our household, but Ray called us 'David and Lisa' for many years, much to the chagrin of others. David and I didn't care, and weren't worried; when other people asked Rayna why she called us "David" and "Lisa", her reply was, 'Because that's their names!" Now she calls us Dad/Mom, unless there's something serious in her mind to discuss--then we're on a first-name basis... ;-)

[tamouse]

Like, this is *so* not worth worrying about. It's not ever going to be Owen who will be confused, nor will either of you. It's those pesky outsiders who want things to fit their own world view that will get confused. Hopefully, they won't be too bothersome.

p.s. you all rock so hard.