gender is as gender does

Thing is:

When I'm choosing clothes, I'm choosing neutral to "boy" clothing (though nothing especially macho, specifically rejecting a fair bit of the more real-boy stuff out there), but I'm not going 100% gender-free, and I'm not going full range of gender-expression yet. While he's an infant, I'm fine with that, as it's probable that he's cisgender, and it's easy.

There's a little bit of me that feels guilty about that, as a modern-thinking feminist parent: How can I impose gender on my child like that? What am I thinking.



It's sort of sad that I could dress a girl in shirts with construction equipment and soccer balls and have that be more socially acceptable than to dress a boy in a tutu and tights. I'm willing, with children, to let that social experiment be gradual. He'll definitely have the options in dress up clothes, and if he wants to wear a tutu out when he's 3 or 4 and dressing himself, if it's a place that would be appropriate for a girl to wear a tutu? Whatever. But for now, I'm leaning slightly to one side of the gender-neutral line.

He will be surrounded by strong men and women, determined men and women, soft and compassionate men and women -- and a lot of in-between. He will be fine.

(edit to add, from elsewhere, a friend's comment:
I wouldn't fret over it. Gender can't be 'imposed' from without. He'll figure it out pretty much no matter what you do.)