I have thoughts about the whole mom thing, which I'll probably just chat about with you in person or IM ... the punchline is that I think it's probably very important for both you and Owen to have a legal relationship, since there isn't a biological one. Your years of conditioning aren't going to be invisible to him, long-term, and having a legal structure around which to rebuild your conditioning is likely to be really important to both of you. Of course, that is a much more complex thing to actually accomplish, than to talk about, especially if Audrey isn't feeling the same way about it as she was pre-conception, etc. The thing about her is that she can never NOT be his mother. Legal papers can't take that away.
I have 100% faith you'll all work out something that is wonderful for all of you, and like I've said before, I support you all no matter what. I just think, having raised someone else's biological child, without an adoption, even with a guardianship, it was unnecessarily rough for both of us when he hit certain milestones/stages to not legitimately BE his mother in some fashion.
(hugs) and thanks for sharing something that is potentially so personal and deep. That's gutsy ... but that's you :)
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Date: 2011-06-22 04:42 pm (UTC)I have thoughts about the whole mom thing, which I'll probably just chat about with you in person or IM ... the punchline is that I think it's probably very important for both you and Owen to have a legal relationship, since there isn't a biological one. Your years of conditioning aren't going to be invisible to him, long-term, and having a legal structure around which to rebuild your conditioning is likely to be really important to both of you. Of course, that is a much more complex thing to actually accomplish, than to talk about, especially if Audrey isn't feeling the same way about it as she was pre-conception, etc. The thing about her is that she can never NOT be his mother. Legal papers can't take that away.
I have 100% faith you'll all work out something that is wonderful for all of you, and like I've said before, I support you all no matter what. I just think, having raised someone else's biological child, without an adoption, even with a guardianship, it was unnecessarily rough for both of us when he hit certain milestones/stages to not legitimately BE his mother in some fashion.
(hugs) and thanks for sharing something that is potentially so personal and deep. That's gutsy ... but that's you :)