Tonight, Owen woke up not too long after going down to bed for the night, fussy and whimpering and upset, and clearly still exhausted.

After Audrey tried to settle him by nursing, it didn't take long to become obvious that he was very gassy and uncomfortable.

That meant desperate measures, so Casey danced him around on his shoulders, as Audrey followed with the laptop, playing "Donkey Riding."

There's not much Owen likes better than dancing on his Daddy's shoulders, and he was smiling, but still a bit uncomfortable. Casey handed him off to me, and he was still fussy and gassy, so I sat with him, loved him, rocked him, rubbed his back and tummy, and finally, half an hour of rocking and lullabies and considerable farting later, he fell asleep.

We have teamwork down.

Recently I found out that a relative I'm not very close to officially "disapproves of" our "lifestyle."

Argh, I hate that word, "lifestyle." It doesn't work for sexual orientation, it doesn't work for polyamory -- at least, not as we live it.

Our lifestyle involves dancing a little boy around until he can fart a little. It involves making sure well-baby appointments are scheduled so that at least two parents can go, because we're all interested. Usually, three of us go. It involves laundry and walking the dog and figuring out which furniture needs child safety and earthquake safety retention straps. It involves going to bed at night exhausted and waking up delighted to share the dawn with one of the most confident, joyful children I've ever known.

So for whichever folks out there disapprove of our lifestyle? this is what you're disapproving of. And I don't need your kind of approval.
And it was really nothing, just little things like emptying out a hamper to fold clothing and realizing dirty and clean clothing got mixed and I didn't know which was which, and Owen crying, not even hard or persistently, and I didn't really want to deal. So, though I could have managed, I remembered I have other parents here and asked Casey and Audrey to take him tonight, which feels a bit weird because I did go out to a movie with a friend last night, but Casey's been playing a fair bit of video games lately because his back went out and he's been stoned on endorphins and trying to recover from that, and Audrey mostly takes him at night for feeding, and I've got him the rest of the night, so anyway. Tonight, I cleared the laundry off my bed that was still on it when I went to bed last night because Owen said he didn't want to wait for me to fold it before snuggling/suckling/sleeping, and I folded it and put it away, and soon I'll see if I can't sleep a bit. Audrey and Casey have Owen and know that (because he and I sleep well together) they can let me know when they'd like me to take him back. It sounds like he's asleep now.

So it's going well. I really, really like that baby. Audrey's family has really warmed to the whole thing and are now decidedly Family, and come up to see him a lot. Owen's grandfather adores him. The dogs love him. We love him. He's actually an awesome baby, starting to stare at us a LOT and get a little more interactive, grab our fingers, etc. We're still waiting on the social smile.

He's seriously a pooper.

We lost our favorite chicken last week because our favorite dog is a predator :/

What else?

I used to feel almost chronically like I was a burden and not pulling my weight around here. That's totally gone away, I now feel like I provide a solid service ;)

I'm trying to think, "I have a life that is not about Owen," but right now that doesn't matter. And I'm not sure how much I do. Seriously, I spend a huge amount of my life caring for a tiny boy, and it's a lot of work, and it's frustrating, and right now, it feels like it's exactly where I should be.

I think my next post is going to be about figuring about balance with three parents, but we haven't figured it out, it's just happened. But when I get another minute, not to write at all, but to write coherently, I'll write about that.

sleepy snugglebunny by marymactavish
sleepy snugglebunny, a photo by marymactavish on Flickr.

IMG_0793 by Kimberly Jennery
IMG_0793 a photo by Kimberly Jennery on Flickr.

A couple of people have asked why I haven't updated this blog since the Big Change, and I'm sorry, but I'm just so tired.

It's amazing how tired I am, considering there are three of us and I didn't do the hardest work.

The sweetest baby on the planet was born yesterday at 5:35 in the afternoon.

He is calm and sleepy, but when he's awake he's bright-eyed and curious. He eats like a pro and poops like a pro, and we love him like crazy.

Audrey, who had no experience at all with babies, suddenly Became A Mom, and is intuitive and natural with him. I just adore watching them together. Well, we all love watching Owen, I also love watching Owen-and-Casey and Owen-and-Audrey, and Owen-and-Audrey-and-Casey.

There's so much more I want to include, like who, at the hospital, we explained our family structure to and why; and how and why I was careful not to put my foot down about expected roles for me and Audrey with regard to the baby early on; and the value of community in this endeavor, or ... well, a lot of things. But I'm so tired and having trouble organizing coherent thoughts. That said, if you've got questions, ask away, I'm happy to answer anything, though there might be some hedging where the privacy boundaries for individuals in our family are getting bumped against. (Remember, you can use OpenID if you don't have a dreamwidth account.)

May 2015

24 252627282930


RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags