Jan. 13th, 2011

In which Peo plans her life.

I like this:
At some point I think it stops being fully my responsibility to teach my daughter that men are capable of caring for babies, and maybe more responsibility should fall on the parents of boys to better encourage them to want to do so without stigma.

I'm reminded of the time, years ago, when I was teaching, when a young (19) neighbor of mine, who was having her second baby, asked how she could prepare her toddler son for the impending sibling. I said, "Getting him a doll would be a good start." She said he already had dolls. I asked if they were the size where they fit in his arms like an infant would fit in a parent's arms, because that helps. She told me that no, they were Power Rangers action figures, which were all his (half-absent, there and back again) father would allow, as he didn't want his son to grow up to be less than a man.

This was a situation in which there honestly wasn't a whole lot I could say, as this woman was very caught up in the glamor of having a man to love her and help her make a family, and it was what she wanted and seemed to expect from her life. I was stuck, and reiterated that Power Rangers wouldn't help the kid prepare, but perhaps once the baby arrived, helping the toddler gently care for the baby and not ignoring the older kid's needs too often, might make a difference. (Later that year, when Halloween rolled around, the woman took both kids trick-or-treating so she could eat the baby's candy.)

I'm really glad that our baby, who is probably a boy, will have not only two caring moms, but a father who is both completely undereducated in the art of caring for babies and very eager to learn how to do it well. (I am, in fact, the only one of us with real experience with young children.)

Casey is an amazing man, he really is. One of the upcoming experiences I'm most excited about, for our son, is that he gets to grow up with Casey as a primary male influence. No baby could ask for better.

May 2015

24 252627282930

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags